I was amazed. Over 15 years ago, I met an advisor with an incredible gift for connecting with people. Everybody likes and trusts him. Because people buy from those they like and trust, he is a very successful salesperson. I will share the three keys to his sales success.

He recently started recruiting advisors so he could train them to do what he did. However, there was a problem. He was as natural and fluid in his approach as finely tuned professional athletes are at their game. But, he could not describe what he did. He just did it. That is why he brought me in to analyze his actions and turn it into a system.

A large part of his success is the result of his questions. More specifically, he connects with prospects because of WHAT he asks questions about, HOW he asks the questions, and HOW he integrates the answers into his presentation.

Having spent a lot of time with other professionals, the first difference I noticed was the length of time between "Hello" and talking "business." He spends more time "chatting" than any other advisor I know. He sums up his approach by saying "They do not care how much you know until they know how much you care." His approach makes the prospect aware that he is truly interested in their well-being.

Taking the time to actually get to know a prospect is an art form that is being lost. I understand that everyone is busy and has lots to do. However, the biggest improvements in my career came after I decided to follow this advisor's approach. I stopped being "efficient" and started developing better relationships. The improved relationships led to greater sales. Now that is efficient.

So, what is unique about how he asks the questions? He has three primary categories of topics he asks about (more on that in a bit). With each one, he has the initial question and then improvises with multiple, open-ended, follow up questions. It never sounds like an interrogation...just someone who genuinely listens to the responses and takes an interest.

When someone said their favorite aunt was not doing well, he was genuinely sympathetic and asked a series of open-ended questions. "I'm sorry to hear that. What happened?" "Really? How long has she had that?" "What have the doctors tried so far?" "Is there anything I can help you or your family with?"

If you are anything like me, you genuinely care about the lives of your prospects, too. Following his method just provides a blue print for conveying to your prospects that you care. Since people love talking about themselves, this is a fantastic opportunity to learn about them, what they enjoy, and even about their friends.

When asking the questions, he follows FORM. First, he asks about Family. He does not just say "How's the wife and kids?" and move on. Again, he follows up their response with additional, appropriate questions.

Second, he asks them about their Occupation. When asking about Occupation, he usually asks "How did you get into that position?" Quite often this leads into a lengthy description of prior jobs that sometimes goes all the way back to college.

Third, he asks them about their Recreation. Whether it includes sports (especially golf), travel, eating, or other hobbies, the prospect nearly always opens up and shares a lot about himself or herself.

Finally, he eventually moves into the Message portion of his meeting. Not only does this approach show the prospect that you truly care, but it also provides you with valuable information. When you learn about their family and recreation, you have an insight into their priorities. Perhaps their primary goal is taking care of grandchildren or special needs kids. Perhaps they want to spend more time sailing or golfing. How can your product or service help them do these things?

As they talk about their occupation and interests, pay attention. The discussion may open doors of opportunity for your product or service. Mentally make note of it for later.

You should also make a mental note of their relatives, co-workers, and the friends they share their hobby with. All of these have great potential to be future referrals. As a matter of fact, learn and utilize their recreation activities. These provide the best potential for future referrals. I have an entire course on how to do this effectively.

In summary, follow good FORM by asking questions about Family, Occupation, and Recreation before getting to your Message. Make mental notes of the answers and integrate them into your presentation. You will be glad you did.